Cellardyke in the East Neuk of Fife, Scotland. This is where I was raised in Scotland, but not as you might think. Sometime, between six weeks and six months old, I was removed from Buckhaven, where I was born on December 12th, and taken to Cellardyke in the East Neuk of Fife. It was all over for me and the woman and man whose baby I was. They were gone for good, and I was just gone. I was locked away and treated very badly as a child, and I learned early never to cry. So, I walked, always walked. No car, no bus, no money. I can't remember a time when I wasn't walking by the seashore. It was my survival from the very start.
As a teenager I had anger so big it would fill up Cellardyke harbour. I used to feel completely hopeless. I was a solitary person, as I can be today, always longing for just one person to know me, to really know me. As a young person growing up in Cellardyke, everyone saw me, but no one knew me; no one knew what I was going through. I lived in a home that did not represent a safe and loving haven. I knew I did not belong there, and when I could, I left, with nowhere to leave to. From that day forward I vowed that no one would ever get to to lock me in or lock me out again.
I decided that every day for the rest of my life, wherever I was, I would look for a beauty in my surroundings. No matter how dark the dusk, I would look for the light; no matter how cold or wild the storm, I would find inspiration within it. Today, once again, I stood by the seashore of my youth. But I felt no anger about my past, only deep and abiding love for the sea and sky here. On the darkest day, there is always light to be found. I believe that to be true.
Cellardyke in the East Neuk of Fife, Scotland.
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