Tour Scotland: Tour Scotland Photograph Dusk Christmas Eve Cellardyke East Neuk Of Fife

Tour Scotland photograph shot at dusk on Christmas Eve, December 24th, 2011, in Cellardyke in the East Neuk of Fife, Scotland. This is where I was raised in Scotland, but not as you might think. Sometime, between six weeks and six months old, I was removed from Buckhaven, where I was born on December 12th, and taken to Cellardyke in the East Neuk of Fife. It was all over for me and the woman and man whose baby I was. They were gone for good, and I was just gone. I was locked away and treated very badly as a child, and I learned early never to cry. So, I walked, always walked. No car, no bus, no money. I can't remember a time when I wasn't walking by the seashore. It was my survival from the very start.

As a teenager I had anger so big it would fill up Cellardyke harbour. I used to feel completely hopeless. I was a solitary person, as I can be today, always longing for just one person to know me, to really know me. As a young person growing up in Cellardyke, everyone saw me, but no one knew me; no one knew what I was going through. I lived in a home that did not represent a safe and loving haven. I knew I did not belong there, and when I could, I left, with nowhere to leave to. From that day forward I vowed that no one would ever get to to lock me in or lock me out again.

I decided that every day for the rest of my life, wherever I was, I would look for a beauty in my surroundings. No matter how dark the dusk, I would look for the light; no matter how cold or wild the storm, I would find inspiration within it. Today, once again, I stood by the seashore of my youth. But I felt no anger about my past, only deep and abiding love for the sea and sky here. On the darkest day, there is always light to be found. I believe that to be true.

All photographs are copyright of Sandy Stevenson, Tour Scotland, and may not be used without permission.

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2 comments:

Pamela Terry and Edward25 December 2011 at 00:30
Blessings on you my friend.
You are most inspiring.
And I adore following you on twitter. You bring me Scotland, a land dearer to me than anywhere else.
Thank you.
OhSusannah21 June 2012 at 00:25
Your life story is very poignant and encouraging ,Mr. Stevenson. I too had a very difficult upbringing in eastern Canada. A lot of money problems for my parents and siblings, mostly due to a mental illness my father lived with every day of his adult life. I too always found a lot of peace and solace in nature and the great outdoors of Canada.From the first moment I've seen your tweets, I've felt a strong connection to your photographs. I often thought it was because my grandparents were Scottish. Now I know it's a much deeper connection I feel. Thank you for sharing your story and your vision. You're truly remarkable.